Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Unexpected (sortof) Guests.....

Good Evening All My Pretties!
Yesterday was a glorious day. I was so suprised to arrive home and discover not one but two large brown boxes sitting in the corner of my porch. A smile slowly crept across my face as my brain processed what could possibly be in these packages.....
I eagerly opened the door, threw down all that was in my arms (good thing it wasn't anything breakable) and quickly returned to the porch to retrieve my delivered treasure.
I took them both upstairs and gently set them on the dinning room floor.
Knife or scissors? knife or scissors? knife or sissors? KNIFE!! I cut into the box and pulled back the freshly opened wound.....Damn, another box.
Again, I sliced through the tape and peeled back the edges.....Damn, bubble wrap, lots of it.
I lifted out the air infused package, all 18 pounds of it. Gently setting it on the table I began to undo the tape holding the wrap in place.....Yeah, right. Whoever wrapped these damn things took a perverse pleasure in making sure no one would easily get to carmel center.
The hell with this....where's that knife???? I know it was just here.....there you are (sinister grin pulling at the corner of my mouth). If someone would have seen me at this moment they would have had me committed.
Now I know how Jack (the ripper) felt. The shinny, silver blade glistening in the light. The still air. The breathless antisipation ( The knife glidding through the bubble wrap like warm butter on a hot georgia night....Yeah, Ok. The knife hung up every inch or so, which caused the package to rotate in every consivable direction but the ONE that I wanted.
After finally tearing and clawing my way into this artfully packaged contraption....I promptly dropped everything on the floor. BANG! Scared the crap out of the dogs, who were on the other side of the room after witnessing the manacle look in my eyes when I entered the house with these boxes in tow.
I cautiously picked everything up. Tightened the loose screws and attached the unattached legs......
Bart's here. :) 
Well, Bart and his other brother Bart (feeling very Bob Newhart).

Here's Bart.

Bart and his other brother Bart (he let his hair grow out).

Counting the days now....4!!! We will putting up decorations this coming Sunday. YAY!! I can hardly wait. New Coffin and a body to go in it. ;) Bart with the long orange hair will hopefully be perched up high riding a broom. HA!
Can you believe that someone down the road (about a mile or so) from me actually put up their Halloween decorations before me?
Geez! The Nerve Of Some People. Oh well, when I get done they will understand what it means to decorate for the greatest holiday of the year!!

That's all the news that to ya later.



  1. lol. The Barts are awesome! You write so well... I got quite a few chuckles out of it then I had to read it to my husband 'cause we have a dear friend here who is just as enthusiastic about Halloween. She lives in a small apartment so imagine what the INSIDE looks like at this time of year :D

  2. Thank you so much. :)
    it's nice to know that someone other than my family reads my posts (especially since they don't comment).
    I would love to see your friends decorations! you should encourage her to post some pics! I'm sure they're amazing.
    p.s. - Love your work. :)

  3. p.s.s. - THANKS for following. Made my day!